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~*~ Nightingale ~*~

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We try to define the world in terms of science
But the world is not a theory, not a law.
It is alive.

Walking down the streets at night open your eyes to something new
A nightlife that many take for granted.
We look out into the dark and imagine fear.
We never look part the world façade
the image we force upon it
All we see are the sick
The homeless
The desperate waiting down the alley for prey.
I can look past all that, and see a beauty in the night.

For once raise your gaze
The sky holds many secrets.
The rags are a disguise
For a family doing the best they can.
We overlook the small things
though insignificant to your own life they may be
True loves first kiss
A new friendship
Spilt coffee and apologies.

This is what I see.
I try to define the word in terms of nature
It is alive.
Current Location:
Home
Current Mood:
artistic artistic
Current Music:
None
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Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
His bed was next to the room's only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.
They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.


Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.


She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'
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Friday, November 23, 2007

I miss
Current mood: bored

I miss how things use to be.

I miss swing dancing… all the friends that use to go, but their not there anymore. They moved, they got boyfriends, or they just vanished. I miss all the fin times, the pictures, and the laughs. I wish I had time to go all the time like I use to, but school is stopping me, job searching, and lack of money leads to lost memories. I blame no one for this, it happens all the time to everyone; I just wish it hadn't happened so soon. And I miss my dance shoes…( Kristin ;) )

I want summer to come back, when I was stress free. I want the days back when I had something to do, when I wasn't bored out of my mind sitting at home on the computer with no one to talk to because they no longer care about me or are working (if your reading this, it's more likely not about you, since you care enough to read it at all).

I miss going to Moe's every Monday after school, and I miss sitting for hours playing halo and listening to my friends laugh. I miss when all my friends didn't go out and get drunk and high, or when their girlfriends didn't hate me. I miss playing lazertag all night long, and I even miss working there.

I miss doing more than just sitting around talking about stuff that just pisses me off about how unintelligent you are about the subjects you claim to know all about.

I miss being the passenger in that old white truck, and the random adventures. ;)

There are only a few things that keep me sane.

1. James. He is my shelter, my sanctuary, and my love.

2. My kitten. He keeps me laughing, even when I want to cry.
That's about it really. Those two are my world and I have no idea what I would do without either of them.
* * *
Friday, June 20, 2008

You are my soul mate
Now, before you all thing I am going crazy, let me tell you how I use that word.

Soul mate is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul. I don't believe that your soul mate HAS to be the one you are with for the rest of your life, and I DO believe you can have more then one. It can be male, female, animal... it's just another soul you feel something deeper then love for, a connection that words truly cannot express. I wasn't 'destined' to be with you the rest of my life, I was only meant to have you there, to comfort me, to make me feel more complete then any husband, lover, or friend could. Thats what a soul mate is to me.

Now why am I going on about this? Because I finally sorted out my feeling... I hope.

I knew I no longer felt the same for you, I told you that, and I was confused on why I still loved to just lay there with you and watch movies, to feel nothing romantic, just complete. I knew I no longer loved you, not like I did before, but I knew I couldn't live without you there. I was wondering, how could I condemn another who wanted to be with me to a relationship that I wasn't sure about, how could I look at them, want to be with them, when I wanted to be with you too, just in a different way.

Sure, I know I could sacrifice a lot of thing I have with you, but not the closeness, the hugs hello and the kisses good-bye. Not to call you gay, I know your not, but the way I act with you is how I would act with a gay best friend, the kisses, the teasing, then don't mean nothing to be but that close friendship. It's not a romantic and unconditional love, it's a deep platonic love.

You are my soul mate.

My connection with you is beyond friendship, but not sexual. Sure, there can be that attraction, but give us a break, we are both fucking gorgeous. It's inevitable, but I know we can both be mature, if we wanted or had to be.

Whoever I am with next, will just have to except and understand these facts. I'm not sure if I will find that person, the one who will know what I'm talking about when I call you a soul mate, but not someone I want more then them.

I love you, James, in the most platonic, soul mate-ish way.
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I was such an...angsty teen. Please discontinue reading any entries before this date. They are overly embarrassing, lols.

-Meg

* * *
* * *
The world will little note nor long remember what we say here.

I miss how things use to be.

I miss swing dancing… all the friends that use to go, but their not there anymore. They moved, they got boyfriends, or they just vanished. I miss all the fin times, the pictures, and the laughs. I wish I had time to go all the time like I use to, but school is stopping me, job searching, and lack of money leads to lost memories. I blame no one for this, it happens all the time to everyone; I just wish it hadn’t happened so soon. And I miss my dance shoes…( Kristin ;) )

I want summer to come back, when I was stress free. I want the days back when I had something to do, when I wasn’t bored out of my mind sitting at home on the computer with no one to talk to because they no longer care about me or are working (if your reading this, it’s more likely not about you, since you care enough to read it at all).

I miss going to Moe’s every Monday after school, and I miss sitting for hours playing halo and listening to my friends laugh. I miss when all my friends didn’t go out and get drunk and high, or when their girlfriends didn’t hate me. I miss playing lazertag all night long, and I even miss working there.

I miss doing more than just sitting around talking about stuff that just pisses me off about how unintelligent you are about the subjects you claim to know all about.

I miss being the passenger in that old white truck, and the random adventures. ;)

There are only a few things that keep me sane.
1. James. He is my shelter, my sanctuary, and my love.
2. My kitten. He keeps me laughing, even when I want to cry.

That’s about it really. Those two are my world and I have no idea what I would do without either of them.
Current Mood:
bored bored
* * *
I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.

5.15.07

M.S. <3 J.P.

Current Mood:
giddy giddy
* * *
Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.

It’s been only a week, nothing serious, nothing solid, but it’s there. Something that has been well deserved and greatly wanted.

The touch, the sound, its all there. Not yet in bloom, but it’s there.

Dormant
Sleeping

Waiting

It will be something great, as long as the one who seeks it continues to do so.

And do so I will.
Current Mood:
happy happy
* * *
The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.

I have decided I am going to try and right myself for the better, yet again. I have already started down this path, but now I will continue onwards. I will reach my goals, and achieve the things I once though imposable.
First things first, I am going to start eating a bit healthier, more veggies, more fruits, no more soda unless I have to take my pills since I need the carbonation to stop my gag reflexes from going mad.
Second, I’m going to take better care of my looks. I’m tired of pants, tired of dressing not like a woman most of the time. I want more skits, less pants. I liked, no loved, how I looked on Valentine’s Day, I have no felt so good about myself in a very long time.
Third, I’m going to get into better shape. I know I’m already starting to get fit, but I want to take it a step farther. I love dancing, more then I love music, which is saying a LOT about how much I love it. I want to get better. In order to do that, I have to get stronger legs, stomach, and upper body… or in short everything needs to get more muscle on my body.
Finally, I’m going to try and change a bit of my personality, not a lot, just the parts I hate, like my unending fear of most things or my shyness and laziness. This will help be achieve my goal of getting my awesome car.
A few things I will NOT change are the things everyone likes about me. My bluntness, and other aspects of my person that make me who I am, are here to stay.
I will reach my goals, just you wait and see.

Meg, the Nightingale.
Current Mood:
determined determined
* * *
For those with wings, fly to their dreams.

I think I hurt him, but he has to look at it form my point of view. I told him how much I cared for someone else.

Oh another note, yes, I know I have not been on here in forever, but I like it much better then MySpace's blogging system and I don't have my own journal other then my computer.

A lot had been going on, and just so you know, being single is not that bad, not really. Not as bad as I though it would be, but still, I am trying to fix that. That’s another reason I want to use this and not mysapce... less people read this one. So it's more like a journal is supposed to be.

So, a little update is in order I guess. I started to swing dance, it helped me a lot over the past 7 months. I know, it's already been that long it's that amazing? I met a lot of new people, and a lot of new friends. They became a special part of my life; they replaced all the friends I lost after graduation.

Now comes a subject most of my friends are tired of hearing about, my crushed. Well, there have been a few of those, Jon, Nate, and Kenny, but I can say this full heartedly that I enjoy Kenny the most.

Jon was nice and all, but he was too child-like for me, I don't need to baby-sit someone, plus he was still jailbait when I met him, I'm 8 months older them him. I know I know, that’s not that much, but into older men now.

Nate was fun to be around, he was independent, funny, maybe not the hottest person ever, but he had a good personality. But he turned out to be a man whore and even forgot my name after a while... so that was a no no. But at least he though I was hot.

Kenny is amazing. He gives me butterflies in my stomach every time he is near me, something the other two never did. He is into the ren fests, he can swing dance, he finds me attractive, and he has the man V... Oh the man V. He juggles, and is very good at it. I have not felt so happy and schoolgirl-ish since I first met Ryan, since the first few months of our relationship. I missed this feeling so much. He only sad thing is he is a magnate for every woman within a 100-foot radius. They all would hate me, and some of them are my friends, I don’t want that, and he hates hurting people, too. Though, I’m starting not to care how other people feel, I want to be happy... and he will help with that.

So that’s the gist of life to far on a relationship basis, the rest will come later.

Meg, The Nightingale
Current Mood:
giddy giddy
Current Music:
Bittersweet - Within Temptation
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